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Holly Donath

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2.22.21 Mindfulness Monday


Holly Donath

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The Mindfulness Monday session today was a writing meditation.  With my favorite black Tul needle point pen, I was poised above a blank sheet of college ruled paper waiting on the first question.  We were instructed to let our thoughts flow without regard for spelling, grammar or penmanship.  

Question one was on the order of what is something about myself that brings me displeasure.  What immediately came to mind is my struggle to memorize a certain Tae Kwon Do form.  But that’s not really it.  It’s more that I’m aging.  In fact, we are all aging from the moment we are born.  Maybe, I should accept certain limitations and stop carrying the table saw downstairs by myself.  Maybe, that’s not it either.  Maybe, I feel I’ve lost some opportunities.  It’s time to move onto question two.  

Question two was a lovely question.  How do you feel when your pet is looking at you with unconditional love?  Gratitude, lightening of spirit, thankfulness, joyful love.  Except when my husband’s cat looks at me.  When his cat looks at me, I get looks that say give me milk, need food, give me Reiki, let me out, let me in, want cheese, open door, close door.  I’m the cat’s morning maid and cook.

The remaining questions, like most questions towards the end of a topic, were broader and required more insight than I had to spare at the moment.  In my case, why do I feel this, why does that matter to me, is this really important, why am I developing a double chin?

What I do know is this.  When I clean out my closet, the room always looks worse before it looks better.  So it will be with the quest for my true self.

Edited by Holly Donath

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I hear you Holly when you talk about ageing and for me, I suppose its been taught over the years by society that memory problems, aches and pains, saggy skin and ...double chins are all signs that you are no longer at your prime. With that, the meaning that stands in the room like an elephant that no one wants to acknowledge that with age, your  pereived worth is some how becoming 'less'.

I love how you talked about your cat and through that little fuffly beings eyes, saw you for the real person you are, something to be grateful for, a light spirit (look at the words you used, even if you wrote them with a different meaning in mind, thats what I'm getting here, - your a person who is full of light, a light worker, and though you might not see that through your eyes, you can see it through your cats which is just so beautiful and cool!). Your husbands cat, appreciates you in a different way, its demands suggest you are "worthy" of its attention. For a cat thats a big thing right 🙂

Anyhow, all this got me thinking, particularly the double chin reference. For myself I believe that these kind of things have some kind of metaphorical meaning to help us on our journey. Its not just age that brings these chin experiences about. So I looked up sayings that we have such as 'Keep your chin up' (don't get down and depressed about negative things happening, the old 'The universe is working for you, not against you') Does having a double chin mean we had not been playing attention?, and let that chin drop? Have I succumed to depression and despair more that I needed to? So now, in order to 'bring back' those chins in to 'oneness' we need to keep our head raised (which, strangely enough does remove that majority of that double chin).

The other saying 'take it on the chin' - meaning to take it bravely, not to shy way from adversity or problems that come your way.

So here I am, reading your experience and being enlightened towards my own. I'm having 'holy wow' moments and realising that the changes I need to make in order to be more confident, and have a happier live are right in front of my face... well, right on my face... right on the bottom of my face...Point is, its been staring me in the mirror all this time. Lift your head, smile more but most of all, find ways to change the narrative I had going on in my head regarding my worth, (or what others might see with my looks). See my self as my cats see me (I have three little fur buddies).

I am so happy you wrote this post, and shared your experience. Today I go forward a little differently, being more mindful of how I see myself. So.. Thank you Holly for taking the time to write and be honest in your experience and sharing. It has really been appreciated.

Blessings

Eve

 

 

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Holly Donath

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Thank you responding to my story.  Your comments  are kind, insightful, and uplifting.  They made my day!

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